CALLED TO HER MINISTRY

Compiled by: Darlene G. Snyder

Linda Hanson

From the book, Bits and Bites for the Pastor’s Wife

 

At the age of fifteen, before I ever met my husband, I felt called to be a pastor’s wife and a church secretary.  At that time, however, my pastor’s wife was an “Old lady” and I didn’t want to be an “old pastor’s wife”.  When I met my husband to be, who was in the Marines, I thought, what is he doing in the military? But, if God had not placed him in the military, we may have never met.  I learned later that he was called in the ministry at about the same age as I was.  I’m so glad God knows what He is doing, don’t you?

I do feel that a pastor’s wife should feel called to her ministry and should be an active helpmate to her husband and their church. She should be a servant to the Lord’s ministry, wherever it takes her.

Being flexible is a very good character trait and mode of life to be in at all times.  I never knew when my husband would say, “Guess who’s coming to dinner?”  Being open to and welcoming hospitality in your home can be very beneficial and a blessing to you personally, you as a couple and to your church family.  Your congregation needs to know that you are human beings just like them and not put you on a pedestal.  They need to get to know you and your husband as people and friends that they trust and love to be around, socially and spiritually.

Take time to get to know the women in the church.  Those that will warm up to you and share things with you, particularly spend time with them.  If they gravitate towards you, do all you can to create a friendship with them and don’t be afraid to get close to them.  They can become your greatest strength (next to the Lord, of course) when things are going great as well as when things are not so great.

If a family decides to adopt you as family, let them, especially if your own family lives elsewhere.  They can become as close as a family can get and might become one of your biggest blessings in the ministry.

Take time to do your daily Bible study and devotions, and try to build into your schedule a daily contact with somebody associated with your church, even if it’s just a five minute phone conversation.  It’s the little things that count in relationships, and communication with your church family is a must.

When you’re at a new church, it’s nice to have an open-house at the parsonage or your home to meet and greet your new church family.  You can even ask them to help with refreshments if they seem open to that.  Ladies like to show off their cooking skills.  Some people like to see what you’ve done with the parsonage, and they need to know if you’re open to them visiting at your home and if they do visit know they are not bothering you.

Exchanging recipes is fun, and we even did an in-house cookbook in our current church that our church is somewhat famous for, and it’s a good way to get to know your ladies and what they enjoy cooking in their kitchens.

As a Pastor’s wife, I do not need to be at every church committee meeting, but being in a small Southern Baptist Church, being at every function is a good goal.

As far a attire for church events, I prefer not to be too flashy, but I also try to consider what others might me wearing.  If I’m having people over to our house or I’m attending a function where I think the people coming will not be dressed up, then I try to not dress up too much either.  I want to make them feel comfortable and not out of place.

Having children in the pastor’s family and in the parsonage was a great asset to our ministry; God blessed us with three girls, and they added to the children’s and youth groups immensely. It gave us an in-road to getting to know families and people at the schools in the area.  Inviting church and community youth over to your home is a lot of fun when you have your own teenagers and they can make friends.  Also your teens can help you know what’s going on in the world of teens at the current time, which is hard to keep up with in our society.

Do not by any means try to choose friends for your teens, just pray that God will lead them to the friends and mates He wants them to have, and He will even if it takes awhile.  Raise them in the way of the Lord and set a Christian example of humility, hospitality, and servanthood, and it will go a long way to help them be Christian examples for their family and church when they are grown.

Be sensitive to your husband’s feelings, but be honest with him about his actions and words.  If you see or hear something from him that could be misconstrued negatively by anyone, tell him about it and pray together about issues or concerns that can affect your own family, as well as your church family.  You need to be your husband’s biggest fan and his closest friend, as it sometimes gets lonely at the top.

On occasion, I’ve thought the two hardest jobs for a man in this world might be the presidency and the pastoral position, because people tend to blame anything bad that happens on these leaders.  So, make it easier on him by letting him know in word and deed you’re standing by him literally, emotionally and prayerfully every step of the way.